Monday, November 12, 2012
Comedian King: Killing English in Nigeria
Comedian King: Killing English in Nigeria: Killing English... Top Gbagauns!!! 1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U Yesterday Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling Cigarette... ? " 2....
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Girl know how to reply
Boy: Fine girl i'm kenneth, whats your name?
Girl: Am Lara.
Boy: My number is 08098026260 can I have
urs?.
Girl: Ok, 00990087762278
Boy: Is it an international number?
Girl: No, dats my account number, save it with
Lara Oluwafemi, UBA. When I get an alert on
my fone, I wil call you.lol.........................
Girl: Am Lara.
Boy: My number is 08098026260 can I have
urs?.
Girl: Ok, 00990087762278
Boy: Is it an international number?
Girl: No, dats my account number, save it with
Lara Oluwafemi, UBA. When I get an alert on
my fone, I wil call you.lol.........................
Killing English in Nigeria
Killing English... Top Gbagauns!!!
1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U Yesterday
Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling Cigarette... ?
"
2. Class Teacher Once Said: "Pick Up The
...
1. Principal To Student..." I Saw U Yesterday
Rotating Near Girls Hostel Pulling Cigarette... ?
"
2. Class Teacher Once Said: "Pick Up The
...
Paper And Fall InThe Dustbin!!!"
3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of
The World To America.."
4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY
BACK.."
5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Other
wise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down.....
6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When
The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To
SwitchThe Fan On, But There Was Some
Problem. And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not
Oning"(Ing Form Of On)
7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur
Name And Father Of Ur Name!!
8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving
Around College"
9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am
Eazy, Married With Two Kids"
10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll
HANG MYSELF"
11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK
AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
12. Chemistry HOD Comes AndTells Us... "My
Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My
Daughter"
13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially
Mother And Father
14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys
Outside When I Am In The Class?!"
15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend
Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You
Understand. Computer How Understand??
16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The
Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "Keep Quiet,
The Principal Has Passed Away"
17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly I
Will Stand Uping U"
18. Teacher To Students: Don't Spit Outside,
The Understanding People Will Suffer
19. I Have 3 Daughters, All Are Girl
Oya.. Keep it rolling..
Add yours...
3. Once Hindi Teacher Said...."I'm Going Out Of
The World To America.."
4. "..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY
BACK.."
5. Don't..Laugh At The Back Benches...Other
wise Teeth And All Will Be Fallen Down.....
6. It Was Very Hot In The Afternoon When
The Teacher Entered.. She Tried To
SwitchThe Fan On, But There Was Some
Problem. And Then She Said " Why Is Fan Not
Oning"(Ing Form Of On)
7. Teacher In A Furious Mood... Write Down Ur
Name And Father Of Ur Name!!
8. "Shhh... Quiet... The Principal Is Revolving
Around College"
9. My Manager Started Like This "Hi, I Am
Eazy, Married With Two Kids"
10. "Will U Hang That Calendar Or Else I'll
HANG MYSELF"
11. LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK
AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"
12. Chemistry HOD Comes AndTells Us... "My
Aim Is To Study My Son And Marry My
Daughter"
13. Tomorrow Call Ur Parents Especially
Mother And Father
14. "Why Are You Looking At The Monkeys
Outside When I Am In The Class?!"
15. Lab Assistant Said This When My Friend
Wrote Wrong Code.. "I Understand. You
Understand. Computer How Understand??
16. Seeing The Principal Passing By, The
Teacher Told The Noisy Class.. "Keep Quiet,
The Principal Has Passed Away"
17. Once Teacher Told "If U Talk So Loudly I
Will Stand Uping U"
18. Teacher To Students: Don't Spit Outside,
The Understanding People Will Suffer
19. I Have 3 Daughters, All Are Girl
Oya.. Keep it rolling..
Add yours...
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
23 Important Questions For Nollywood
23 Important Questions For
Nollywood
Can somebody help me to ask
NOLLYWOOD to
please answer these important
questions ?
1.How can a ghost look left n right
before
crossing
the road? ‘Dem dey fear accident?’
2.Why does the TV go off by itself
after the
‘breaking news’?
3.Why do all native doctors paint
one eye?
4.Why must every advert Start
with a loud
scream?
5.Why must every juju part be
represented by
lightening n thunder under the
bright sunlight?
6.Why do Nigerian movies always
have part one
to five?
7.How can Segun Arinze be
Ramsey Noah’s dad…
Any resemblance?
8.Why will a blind mother say, “I’m
happy to see
you my son”?
9.Why is Jim Iyke always coming
back from
America n speaking with a fake
British accent?
10.When will Pastor Ajidara stop
being a fake
pastor?
11.Why is it that the characters
die or run mad
immediately after their
confessions?
12.Epic Village Movie Set in the
90s still finds
Mercy Johnson with Brazilian hair,
how come?
13. How can N2bn fit into a small
Ghana-Must-
Go bag?
14.Must all hired assassins be
found in
uncompleted or abandoned
buildings? ‘Na dem
papa house?’
15.Why must a film have Part 1,2,
3; Return of
The Film 1,2 n 3; n The Same Film
‘Reloaded’ 1,2
n 3? WHY!?
16.Will a Yoruba movie ever be
complete without
a visit to the ‘Baba’?
17.Study:9 out of 10 times, Olu
Jacobs dies of
heart attack in Nollywood
movies,why?
18. “15 years ago” n Ini Edo calls
her Boyfriend
with a Bold 5.. How is this
possible?
19.Why will d parents call their
child 3 times nd
ask him/her how many time did I
call you? ‘Dem
no sabi count?’
20.When poor people come to
Lagos to struggle
dey always make it, if na so why
poor people still
dey Lagos?
21.Why is it that Ogogo is always
innocent but
must be a victim of
circumstances?
22. Why is translations in most
Yoruba films
always in direct translation?
e.g .."Ta lo fun e
loyun yi"..."Who gave you th?????
23.How can they say 20 years later and they still have the same hair style and their dog bingo is still alive?
Nollywood
Can somebody help me to ask
NOLLYWOOD to
please answer these important
questions ?
1.How can a ghost look left n right
before
crossing
the road? ‘Dem dey fear accident?’
2.Why does the TV go off by itself
after the
‘breaking news’?
3.Why do all native doctors paint
one eye?
4.Why must every advert Start
with a loud
scream?
5.Why must every juju part be
represented by
lightening n thunder under the
bright sunlight?
6.Why do Nigerian movies always
have part one
to five?
7.How can Segun Arinze be
Ramsey Noah’s dad…
Any resemblance?
8.Why will a blind mother say, “I’m
happy to see
you my son”?
9.Why is Jim Iyke always coming
back from
America n speaking with a fake
British accent?
10.When will Pastor Ajidara stop
being a fake
pastor?
11.Why is it that the characters
die or run mad
immediately after their
confessions?
12.Epic Village Movie Set in the
90s still finds
Mercy Johnson with Brazilian hair,
how come?
13. How can N2bn fit into a small
Ghana-Must-
Go bag?
14.Must all hired assassins be
found in
uncompleted or abandoned
buildings? ‘Na dem
papa house?’
15.Why must a film have Part 1,2,
3; Return of
The Film 1,2 n 3; n The Same Film
‘Reloaded’ 1,2
n 3? WHY!?
16.Will a Yoruba movie ever be
complete without
a visit to the ‘Baba’?
17.Study:9 out of 10 times, Olu
Jacobs dies of
heart attack in Nollywood
movies,why?
18. “15 years ago” n Ini Edo calls
her Boyfriend
with a Bold 5.. How is this
possible?
19.Why will d parents call their
child 3 times nd
ask him/her how many time did I
call you? ‘Dem
no sabi count?’
20.When poor people come to
Lagos to struggle
dey always make it, if na so why
poor people still
dey Lagos?
21.Why is it that Ogogo is always
innocent but
must be a victim of
circumstances?
22. Why is translations in most
Yoruba films
always in direct translation?
e.g .."Ta lo fun e
loyun yi"..."Who gave you th?????
23.How can they say 20 years later and they still have the same hair style and their dog bingo is still alive?
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