Akpos, You Wan Die?
A Warri tenant walked in & saw his landlord's son trying to commit suicide & a brief conversation ensued:
Tenant: Akpos! Wetin you de do so?
Akpos: I dey try commit suicide, as Papa dey always complain say my life dey worthless!
Tenant: That one no good now, but why you come tie d rope for your waist?
Akpos: Bros, no be small thing o! I bin tie d rope for neck, I NEARLY DIE!
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Akpos The Bad Houseboy
Akpos The Bad Houseboy
Akpos who was a houseboy
usually sneaks into his Oga's room, drinks his wine and add water to top
it up. One day his Oga bought a new wine called pasties, it was a
french wine that changes colour if water is added to it. Akpos unaware
of this, sneaked into his Oga's room, drank the new wine and added water
to it. Immediately it started changing colour.
...
Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble.
He ran to the kitchen.
Meanwhile, oga and madam were seated in the parlor, while Akpos was in the kitchen.
...
OGA: Akpos
Akpos: Oga
OGA: who drank my pasties?.
No answer!
OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?.
No answer.
Oga walked to the kitchen and saw Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't answer me.
Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't understand anything except your name.
OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlor, stand beside madam and ask me a question while i stand here.
Akpos went and did what oga said.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
OGA: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam is not at home?.
No answer.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, i say who dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam no dey house.
No answer.
Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, except one's name.
MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?.
MADAM: Yes
Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
She enters.
Akpos: Madam
MADAM: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father?. Me or Oga
Madam rushed out of the kitchen
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, i can't understand anything at all.
...
Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble.
He ran to the kitchen.
Meanwhile, oga and madam were seated in the parlor, while Akpos was in the kitchen.
...
OGA: Akpos
Akpos: Oga
OGA: who drank my pasties?.
No answer!
OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?.
No answer.
Oga walked to the kitchen and saw Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't answer me.
Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't understand anything except your name.
OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlor, stand beside madam and ask me a question while i stand here.
Akpos went and did what oga said.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
OGA: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam is not at home?.
No answer.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, i say who dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam no dey house.
No answer.
Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, except one's name.
MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?.
MADAM: Yes
Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
She enters.
Akpos: Madam
MADAM: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father?. Me or Oga
Madam rushed out of the kitchen
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, i can't understand anything at all.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Akpos Son's Naming
Akpos Son's Naming
Akpos insisted that his first child must bear his name. So on the day of naming....
Rev: Which name would you like your child to bear?
Akpos: With smiles all over his face he said, Akpos!
Rev: No! He has to bear an English name.
Akpos: Ok oh, Akposky!
Rev: Listen, your son should be named after a saint in the bible.
Akpos: Nawa oh, which kind wahala be this?? Ok oga pastor, my son will bear St. Akpostus.
Rev: Which name would you like your child to bear?
Akpos: With smiles all over his face he said, Akpos!
Rev: No! He has to bear an English name.
Akpos: Ok oh, Akposky!
Rev: Listen, your son should be named after a saint in the bible.
Akpos: Nawa oh, which kind wahala be this?? Ok oga pastor, my son will bear St. Akpostus.
Akpos is mad
In Aro, they wanted to test to know the next of the insane men to
release. The doctor drew a door on the wall and asked the patients to
open and pass through it.
All the insane men rushed to the door to open but Akpos. He sat down and watched them, the doctor thinks Akpos' brain is back to normal. Doctor goes to him
Doctor: Akpos why are u sitting down?
Akpos: They are all mad! Doctor the key to that door is in my pocket.
All the insane men rushed to the door to open but Akpos. He sat down and watched them, the doctor thinks Akpos' brain is back to normal. Doctor goes to him
Doctor: Akpos why are u sitting down?
Akpos: They are all mad! Doctor the key to that door is in my pocket.
Which SMS would you never want to receive..
Most relationships of today are conditional , men for sex, women for money. True or false...
Which SMS would you never
want to receive..
1. I'm pregnant
2. It's over
3. Hey,I know we're best
friends.Would you mind if I date
your Ex?
4. Sorry,I had an accident with your car
5. Just saw your lover with
another person kissing.Will
send you photos now.
6. Remember when I said I
want to tell you something & you said it didn't matter & we
had unprotected sex? I'm HIV
positive
7. Leave my husband/wife
alone,you idiot
8. Your medical results are out.I know it's a Sunday tomorrow
but you have to come through to
the hospital.Better yet,can you
come tonight?
9. I'm coming there now to take
my money!
Which SMS would you never
want to receive..
1. I'm pregnant
2. It's over
3. Hey,I know we're best
friends.Would you mind if I date
your Ex?
4. Sorry,I had an accident with your car
5. Just saw your lover with
another person kissing.Will
send you photos now.
6. Remember when I said I
want to tell you something & you said it didn't matter & we
had unprotected sex? I'm HIV
positive
7. Leave my husband/wife
alone,you idiot
8. Your medical results are out.I know it's a Sunday tomorrow
but you have to come through to
the hospital.Better yet,can you
come tonight?
9. I'm coming there now to take
my money!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Who's Taking The Pictures
Akpor's wife sends a nude photo daily to him
with both legs wide open.
Wife: I will wait like this till you come.
Akpors: That's ok babe.... BUT who is the person taking the photo?!
Plz fans can u help her with an answer
with both legs wide open.
Wife: I will wait like this till you come.
Akpors: That's ok babe.... BUT who is the person taking the photo?!
Plz fans can u help her with an answer
Giraffe Test
This test
is to ascertain your mental state now. If you get one right you are
doing ok if you get none right you better go for counselling.
Giraffe Test
There are 4 questions. Don’t miss one.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down.
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2 How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions..
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals
Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and
Correct Answer:? You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most professionals do not have the brains of a four-year-old.
Send this out to frustrate all of your smart friends..
PS: Just the fact that I sent it to you should make you feel good.
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD
IMPOSSIBILITIES IN THE WORLD
|
1. U can't count your hair
2. U can't wash your eyes with soap 3. U can't breathe when your tongue is out
Put your tongue back in fool.
10 Things I know about you...
1) U are reading this 2) U are human. 3) U can't say the letter ''P'' without separating your lips 4) U just attempted to do it 6) U are laughing at yourself 7) U have a smile on your face and you skipped No.5 8) U just checked to see if there is a No.5 9) U laugh at this because you are an idiot & everyone does it too. 10) U are probably going to send this to see who else falls for it |
You have received this e-mail because I didn't want to be alone in the Idiot category.
Why Do Women Wear Panties
WHY DO WOMEN WEAR PANTIES
..??
|
First Christmas Joke
First Christmas Joke
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'
The Englishman fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.
The Scotsman reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.
The Irishman started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'
The paddy replied, 'These are Carols.'
And So The Christmas Season
Begins......
Christmas Shopping
A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall
was packed.
As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see
her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot
to do. Because she was so worried, she called him on her mobile phone to
ask him where he was.
In a calm voice, the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry store
we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond
necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for
you one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that
jewelry store."
He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it."
was packed.
As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see
her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot
to do. Because she was so worried, she called him on her mobile phone to
ask him where he was.
In a calm voice, the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry store
we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond
necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for
you one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that
jewelry store."
He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it."
Illiterate Girl Bought a System
Illiterate Girl Bought a System
One girl went to a electronic shop with
anger and threw her new laptop on the
desk at a person from whom he
bought.
She told the salesman that you have
cheated me. I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop.. Salesman:- Madam, can you please try
infront of me. This is what She did, 1) Right clicked the mouse on the file
which she wanted to transfer and
selected CUT option. 2) Disconnected the mouse from that
PC. 3) Took that mouse carefully and
connected it to the other PC where she
wanted to copy that file. 4) Right clicked the mouse and
selected the PASTE option. Joke
anger and threw her new laptop on the
desk at a person from whom he
bought.
She told the salesman that you have
cheated me. I cannot transfer file from my previous laptop.. Salesman:- Madam, can you please try
infront of me. This is what She did, 1) Right clicked the mouse on the file
which she wanted to transfer and
selected CUT option. 2) Disconnected the mouse from that
PC. 3) Took that mouse carefully and
connected it to the other PC where she
wanted to copy that file. 4) Right clicked the mouse and
selected the PASTE option. Joke
Gang Went Into A Church
Gang Went Into A Church
On Sunday a gang went into a church and started closing windows and doors.
They told the congregation that they were going to kill everyone but in alphabetical order.
They went to the Rev.
What is your name?…
Rev: Zoseph Zmith
Lucky you.
Pianist: My name is Zemmanuel Zambali but one of the ushers over there is Akpors Samuel.
“You lying bastard,” Akpors screamed at the top of his voice “Oga my friends call me Zzzakpors Zzzamuel.”
Who wan die!!!
They told the congregation that they were going to kill everyone but in alphabetical order.
They went to the Rev.
What is your name?…
Rev: Zoseph Zmith
Lucky you.
Pianist: My name is Zemmanuel Zambali but one of the ushers over there is Akpors Samuel.
“You lying bastard,” Akpors screamed at the top of his voice “Oga my friends call me Zzzakpors Zzzamuel.”
Who wan die!!!
Husband and Wife in Bed
Husband And Wife Were In Bed.
One evening a husband and wife were in bed. The husband was reading a book, and the wife was watching TV. The husband reaches over and puts his hand in his wife’s panties then withdraws his hand. The wife was surprised by this and thought perhaps her husband was in the mood for a little love. A short time later the husband again reaches into his wife’s panties then withdraws his hand. Now the wife… is almost sure that her husband is “in the mood” She decides to wait for him to touch her a third time and then she will know for sure. Sure enough, the husband repeats *the move.* She leaves the bed, removes her clothes, and returns ready for sex. Her husband, still reading his book, is surprised when she says, “Dear, I’m all ready!” The husband asks, “For what?” She says, “Well, for sex, dear! You've fingered me three times in the last 5 minutes, and now I’m ready!” The husband replies, “Huh? Sex?? I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.
One evening a husband and wife were in bed. The husband was reading a book, and the wife was watching TV. The husband reaches over and puts his hand in his wife’s panties then withdraws his hand. The wife was surprised by this and thought perhaps her husband was in the mood for a little love. A short time later the husband again reaches into his wife’s panties then withdraws his hand. Now the wife… is almost sure that her husband is “in the mood” She decides to wait for him to touch her a third time and then she will know for sure. Sure enough, the husband repeats *the move.* She leaves the bed, removes her clothes, and returns ready for sex. Her husband, still reading his book, is surprised when she says, “Dear, I’m all ready!” The husband asks, “For what?” She says, “Well, for sex, dear! You've fingered me three times in the last 5 minutes, and now I’m ready!” The husband replies, “Huh? Sex?? I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.
Grandma Goes To Court
Grandma Goes To Court
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: N…o, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn’t stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive andexcited. I haven’t felt that good in years.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, “Take me, young man, Take me!”
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That’s when he yelled, “April Fool!”….And that’s when I shot the son of a b¥tch!
Defense Attorney: What is your age?
Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?
Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney: Did you know him?
Little Old Woman: N…o, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?
Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?
Little Old Woman: No, I didn’t stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive andexcited. I haven’t felt that good in years.
Defense Attorney: What happened next?
Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, “Take me, young man, Take me!”
Defense Attorney: Did he take you?
Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That’s when he yelled, “April Fool!”….And that’s when I shot the son of a b¥tch!
Papa Or Mama
Papa Or Mama
Papa: Who do u like more mama or papa
Kid: Both!
Papa: No, tell me 1.
Kid: Both!
Papa: If I go to America and ur mother go to Paris. Where do u go?
…
Kid: Paris!
Papa: This means u like ur mother more!?
Kid: No!Paris is just more beautiful then America.
Papa: And if i go to Paris and ur mother go to America,where would u go then?
Kid: America!
Papa: Why,kid!?
Kid: Bcuz I haven’t been there before …
Papa: Who do u like more mama or papa
Kid: Both!
Papa: No, tell me 1.
Kid: Both!
Papa: If I go to America and ur mother go to Paris. Where do u go?
…
Kid: Paris!
Papa: This means u like ur mother more!?
Kid: No!Paris is just more beautiful then America.
Papa: And if i go to Paris and ur mother go to America,where would u go then?
Kid: America!
Papa: Why,kid!?
Kid: Bcuz I haven’t been there before …
The Cheaters
The Cheaters
A guy and his girlfriend went to commit suicide on top of a 10 storey building so dat God can officiate their wedding in heaven. The plan was to jump off d building at the same time at the count of three. So, After the count, the guy … jumped off but the girl didn't jump. she looked back and said: Love is blind but am not blind. she then walked away As the Guy got to the air, He opened his parachute and said: Though, I'm madly in love, But not mad to die for “LOVE”. Now the Question is who cheated between the two of them? Pls be honest.
A guy and his girlfriend went to commit suicide on top of a 10 storey building so dat God can officiate their wedding in heaven. The plan was to jump off d building at the same time at the count of three. So, After the count, the guy … jumped off but the girl didn't jump. she looked back and said: Love is blind but am not blind. she then walked away As the Guy got to the air, He opened his parachute and said: Though, I'm madly in love, But not mad to die for “LOVE”. Now the Question is who cheated between the two of them? Pls be honest.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Akpos Cheating In An Exam
Akpos Cheating In An Exam
During the exam, Akpos kept looking under the table, then he would write on the answer sheet. His teacher saw him doing that & thought he was copying.? When collecting the paper after the exam..
Teacher: I'm gonna minus 10 marks.
Akpos: Haaaa!! Why ma?
Teacher: For copying.
Akpos: How do you know that I was copying?
Teacher: I saw you looking under the table.
Akpos: *laughing* Question 9 said, STUDY THE TABLE BELOW.
Teacher: I'm gonna minus 10 marks.
Akpos: Haaaa!! Why ma?
Teacher: For copying.
Akpos: How do you know that I was copying?
Teacher: I saw you looking under the table.
Akpos: *laughing* Question 9 said, STUDY THE TABLE BELOW.
Akpos No Know Book
Akpos No Know Book
Papa Akpos :- My pikin say you drive am commot for school, Wetin he do?
Akpos' Teacher :- Your son no know book at all, He no fit spell "LION"
Papa Akpos :- Ah Ah You know say na SMALL pikin...You for tell am make he spell SMALL ANIMAL like MOSQUITO
Papa Akpos :- My pikin say you drive am commot for school, Wetin he do?
Akpos' Teacher :- Your son no know book at all, He no fit spell "LION"
Papa Akpos :- Ah Ah You know say na SMALL pikin...You for tell am make he spell SMALL ANIMAL like MOSQUITO
Akpos The Bad Houseboy
Akpos The Bad Houseboy
Akpos who was a houseboy usually sneaks into his Oga's room, drinks his wine and add water to top it up. One day his Oga bought a new wine called pasties, it was a french wine that changes colour if water is added to it. Akpos unaware of this, sneaked into his Oga's room, drank the new wine and added water to it. Immediately it started changing colour.
...
Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble.
He ran to the kitchen.
Meanwhile, oga and madam were seated in the parlor, while Akpos was in the kitchen.
...
OGA: Akpos
Akpos: Oga
OGA: who drank my pasties?.
No answer!
OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?.
No answer.
Oga walked to the kitchen and saw Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't answer me.
Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't understand anything except your name.
OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlor, stand beside madam and ask me a question while i stand here.
Akpos went and did what oga said.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
OGA: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam is not at home?.
No answer.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, i say who dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam no dey house.
No answer.
Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, except one's name.
MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?.
MADAM: Yes
Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
She enters.
Akpos: Madam
MADAM: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father?. Me or Oga
Madam rushed out of the kitchen
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, i can't understand anything at all
...
Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble.
He ran to the kitchen.
Meanwhile, oga and madam were seated in the parlor, while Akpos was in the kitchen.
...
OGA: Akpos
Akpos: Oga
OGA: who drank my pasties?.
No answer!
OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?.
No answer.
Oga walked to the kitchen and saw Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't answer me.
Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't understand anything except your name.
OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlor, stand beside madam and ask me a question while i stand here.
Akpos went and did what oga said.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa
OGA: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam is not at home?.
No answer.
Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, i say who dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam no dey house.
No answer.
Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, except one's name.
MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.
Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?.
MADAM: Yes
Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen
She enters.
Akpos: Madam
MADAM: Yes Akpos
Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father?. Me or Oga
Madam rushed out of the kitchen
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, i can't understand anything at all
Lose Weight Advertisement
Lose Weight Advertisement
A fat man saw advertisement. "Lose 5kg in a week"!
He called & said I would like to join!
Lady: Ok! Be ready tomorrow at 6am.
Next morning, he gets to the office and he was taken to a room. He opens the door & finds a hot babe with shoes, underpants & shirt saying, "If you catch me you can sleep with me!" & the girl starts running. the Man starts running but couldn't catch her.
So, during the whole week exercise, he tried to catch her but couldn't & lost 5kg. He then asks for the 10kg program.
Next morning at 6am, he opens the door & saw even hotter babe in bikini saying if u catch me you can sleep wit me. He lost 10kg that week. So, he thought this program is awesome! He requested a 25kg program.
The lady said "are you sure? Its really tough!!" "Why not" said the man.
The Next day at 6am he opens the door expecting to see a nude babe but finds a nude MAD MAN saying, "If I catch u, I will sleep with you!!"
He called & said I would like to join!
Lady: Ok! Be ready tomorrow at 6am.
Next morning, he gets to the office and he was taken to a room. He opens the door & finds a hot babe with shoes, underpants & shirt saying, "If you catch me you can sleep with me!" & the girl starts running. the Man starts running but couldn't catch her.
So, during the whole week exercise, he tried to catch her but couldn't & lost 5kg. He then asks for the 10kg program.
Next morning at 6am, he opens the door & saw even hotter babe in bikini saying if u catch me you can sleep wit me. He lost 10kg that week. So, he thought this program is awesome! He requested a 25kg program.
The lady said "are you sure? Its really tough!!" "Why not" said the man.
The Next day at 6am he opens the door expecting to see a nude babe but finds a nude MAD MAN saying, "If I catch u, I will sleep with you!!"
The Trail
The Trail
A Ghanaian man, American man and Nigerian man were lost in a forest and were captured by cannibals.
The king of the cannibals told the three friends that they could live if... they pass a trial.
The 1st step was to go deep into the forest and get 10 pieces of the same kind of fruits.
The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.
The Ghanaian man came back and said to the king,"I brought 10 apples".
The King explained the trial to him.
King : You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed.
The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The American arrived and showed the king 10 berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy....1,2,3,4 ,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The Ghanaian and American met in heaven.... The Ghanaian man asked, "why did you laugh ?, you almost got away with the trial"....then the American man replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the Nigerian man coming with Watermelons!!
The king of the cannibals told the three friends that they could live if... they pass a trial.
The 1st step was to go deep into the forest and get 10 pieces of the same kind of fruits.
The three men went their separate ways to gather fruits.
The Ghanaian man came back and said to the king,"I brought 10 apples".
The King explained the trial to him.
King : You have to swallow the fruits without any expression on your face or you will be killed.
The first apple went in, but on the second one, he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The American arrived and showed the king 10 berries. When the king explained the trial to him, he thought to himself that this should be easy....1,2,3,4 ,5,6,7,8 and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The Ghanaian and American met in heaven.... The Ghanaian man asked, "why did you laugh ?, you almost got away with the trial"....then the American man replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the Nigerian man coming with Watermelons!!
Iron Call
Iron Call
Akpos was walking in the street and met Mumuni who asked him what had happened to his ears as both were covered with bandages.
He said "I was ironing my shirt when my phone rang. Instead of picking up my phone, I picked up the hot iron so I burnt my ear"
Mumuni asked, "So what happened to your other ear?"
He said, "That same idiot called again!"
Akpos was walking in the street and met Mumuni who asked him what had happened to his ears as both were covered with bandages.
He said "I was ironing my shirt when my phone rang. Instead of picking up my phone, I picked up the hot iron so I burnt my ear"
Mumuni asked, "So what happened to your other ear?"
He said, "That same idiot called again!"
10 COMMANDMENTS FOR
10 COMMANDMENTS FOR
WOMEN.
1. Don't be in a hurry to move
out
of your parents house.
... 2. Don't wait for a man before
you
start living. You can live a fulfilled
life as a single woman.
3. Stay away from alcohol. It has
killed others and you are not
special.
4. Don't entertain a wrong
number call, especially at night.
Its
not the right way to find a lover.
5. Develop a healthy eating habit.
Always take breakfast and avoid
sweets.
6. Dress well: Impression count.
People will judge you by the way
you dress even before they talk
to
you.
7. Don't use sex as proof of love.
Sex is no proof of love, he'll leave
you after the sex.
8. Don't marry for the money,
else
you'll become one of his
possessions.
9. Add value to yourself- get a
career. Don't be fooled that a
man
will solve all your problems.
10. Beauty is not everything. If it is
all you have, you'll lose your
place
to someone beautiful, better
more
matured and competent than
you..
WOMEN.
1. Don't be in a hurry to move
out
of your parents house.
... 2. Don't wait for a man before
you
start living. You can live a fulfilled
life as a single woman.
3. Stay away from alcohol. It has
killed others and you are not
special.
4. Don't entertain a wrong
number call, especially at night.
Its
not the right way to find a lover.
5. Develop a healthy eating habit.
Always take breakfast and avoid
sweets.
6. Dress well: Impression count.
People will judge you by the way
you dress even before they talk
to
you.
7. Don't use sex as proof of love.
Sex is no proof of love, he'll leave
you after the sex.
8. Don't marry for the money,
else
you'll become one of his
possessions.
9. Add value to yourself- get a
career. Don't be fooled that a
man
will solve all your problems.
10. Beauty is not everything. If it is
all you have, you'll lose your
place
to someone beautiful, better
more
matured and competent than
you..
Question: who is stingy??
Boy: I luv u girl and I want u 2 be my
babe. Girl: I accept but no sex bcos I want 2 keep
my body 4 my
future husband. Boy: No problem but don't ask for
money bcos I want to
save it for my future wife. Question: who is stingy??
babe. Girl: I accept but no sex bcos I want 2 keep
my body 4 my
future husband. Boy: No problem but don't ask for
money bcos I want to
save it for my future wife. Question: who is stingy??
Mid Night Joke
Mid Night Joke.
After having sex with a prostitute,
A Frenchman gave her some dollars.
The prostitute then escorted the
Frenchman to the airport,
... When he was about to take a flight,
he gave the prostitute a naughty
smile and said,
LA DOLLAR LA FAKE
The prostitute also gave him a smile
and said,
LA PUSSY LA AIDS!!
After having sex with a prostitute,
A Frenchman gave her some dollars.
The prostitute then escorted the
Frenchman to the airport,
... When he was about to take a flight,
he gave the prostitute a naughty
smile and said,
LA DOLLAR LA FAKE
The prostitute also gave him a smile
and said,
LA PUSSY LA AIDS!!
Funny hmmm....
As I walk thru d valley of shadow of death,I begin dey wonder wetin carry me go dere!!! I dey craze?
Friday, January 18, 2013
TRUE OR FALSE
TRUE OR FALSE!
Snooker is a cool sports 4 men 'cos it teaches them how to play with balls and concentrate on many holes, by using just a single stick.
This Got me thinking too.:O
Snooker is a cool sports 4 men 'cos it teaches them how to play with balls and concentrate on many holes, by using just a single stick.
This Got me thinking too.:O
2013 CONTINOUS ASSESSMENT TEST (C.A)
2013 CONTINOUS ASSESSMENT TEST (C.A)
My boo ♥s me so much he never double dates, I'm d only gal he's always thinking of.
What m I?
...
(A) learner
(B) fool
(C) idiot
(D) all of d above
(E) none of the above
My boo ♥s me so much he never double dates, I'm d only gal he's always thinking of.
What m I?
...
(A) learner
(B) fool
(C) idiot
(D) all of d above
(E) none of the above
The amazing rat
A rat looked through a crack in the wall to see thefarmer & his wife opening a package. What food might it contain? He was aghast to discover that itwas a rat trap.
Retreating to the farmyard the rat proclaimed the warning; "There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!"
The chicken clucked & scratched, raised her head& said, "Excuse me, Mr. Rat, I can tell this is a graveconcern to U, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."
The rat turned to the sheep & told him, "There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in d house!" "I am so very sorry Mr. Rat," sympathized the sheep,"but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured that you are in my prayers."
The rat turned to the cow. She said, "Like wow, Mr. Rat. A rat trap. I'm not in grave danger.?"
... So the rat returned to the house, head down & dejected, to face the farmer's rat trap alone.
That very night a sound was heard throughout thehouse, like the sound of a rat trap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.
In the darkness, she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital. She returned home with a fever.
Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took the chicken to the farm kitchen for the soup's main ingredient.
His wife's sickness continued so that friends & neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them the farmer butchered the sheep.
The farmer's wife did not get well. She died, & so many people came for her funeral that the farmerhad the cow slaughtered to provide meat for all of them to eat.
So, the next time u hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it does not concern you, remember that when there is a rat-trap in the house, the whole farmyard is at risk.
Retreating to the farmyard the rat proclaimed the warning; "There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!"
The chicken clucked & scratched, raised her head& said, "Excuse me, Mr. Rat, I can tell this is a graveconcern to U, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."
The rat turned to the sheep & told him, "There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in d house!" "I am so very sorry Mr. Rat," sympathized the sheep,"but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured that you are in my prayers."
The rat turned to the cow. She said, "Like wow, Mr. Rat. A rat trap. I'm not in grave danger.?"
... So the rat returned to the house, head down & dejected, to face the farmer's rat trap alone.
That very night a sound was heard throughout thehouse, like the sound of a rat trap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.
In the darkness, she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital. She returned home with a fever.
Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took the chicken to the farm kitchen for the soup's main ingredient.
His wife's sickness continued so that friends & neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them the farmer butchered the sheep.
The farmer's wife did not get well. She died, & so many people came for her funeral that the farmerhad the cow slaughtered to provide meat for all of them to eat.
So, the next time u hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it does not concern you, remember that when there is a rat-trap in the house, the whole farmyard is at risk.
Question To Those Who Say They Are Christians.
Question To Those Who Say They Are Christians.
I went to a church where I was invited. Young girls of eleven years and below were called up the stage for a dance. At their performance, these little girls were dancing seductively, all a product of what they watch at the nude dance music(circular musics) shown to us on television in the name of entertainment. It was so painful to me that the congregation was clapping for them. I left their and came back home only to have met similar show on Airtel dance promo with children again. I started asking my self these questions.
1. I am an artist and I know what happens behind the stage between dancers and other crew, after the stage within the gospel(but unsanctified) artists, dancers and crew; not to talk of the R&B musicians. All these nude dances we enjoy watching, what positive contribution does it have in us?
2. Have we ever asked ourselves how these nude and seductive female dancers live their lives...
I went to a church where I was invited. Young girls of eleven years and below were called up the stage for a dance. At their performance, these little girls were dancing seductively, all a product of what they watch at the nude dance music(circular musics) shown to us on television in the name of entertainment. It was so painful to me that the congregation was clapping for them. I left their and came back home only to have met similar show on Airtel dance promo with children again. I started asking my self these questions.
1. I am an artist and I know what happens behind the stage between dancers and other crew, after the stage within the gospel(but unsanctified) artists, dancers and crew; not to talk of the R&B musicians. All these nude dances we enjoy watching, what positive contribution does it have in us?
2. Have we ever asked ourselves how these nude and seductive female dancers live their lives...
Teacher and Akpos at it again
TEACHER: Why didn't
you study?
AKPOS: A year has 365
days for you to study.
After taking away 52
... Sundays, there are only
313 days left. There are
50 days in the
summer that is way
too hot to work so
there
are only 263 days left.
We sleep 8 hours a
day, in a year, that
counts up to 122 days
so
now we're left with 141
days. If we fooled
around for only 1 hour a
day, 15 days are
gone, so we are left
with 126 days. We
spend
2 hours eating each day,
30 days are used in
this way in the year,
and we are left with 96
days in our year. We
spend 1 hour a day
speaking to friends and
family, that takes away
15 days more and we
are left with 81 days.
Exams and tests take
up at least 35 days in
your year; hence you are
only left with 46
days. Taking off
approximately 40 days
of
holidays, you are only
left with 6 days.Say you
are sick for a minimum
of 3 days; you're left
with 3 days in the year
to study! Let's say you
only go out for 2
days...You're left with 1
day.
But that 1 day is your
birthday. That's why I
did not study
TEACHER: keeps quiet!!!
you study?
AKPOS: A year has 365
days for you to study.
After taking away 52
... Sundays, there are only
313 days left. There are
50 days in the
summer that is way
too hot to work so
there
are only 263 days left.
We sleep 8 hours a
day, in a year, that
counts up to 122 days
so
now we're left with 141
days. If we fooled
around for only 1 hour a
day, 15 days are
gone, so we are left
with 126 days. We
spend
2 hours eating each day,
30 days are used in
this way in the year,
and we are left with 96
days in our year. We
spend 1 hour a day
speaking to friends and
family, that takes away
15 days more and we
are left with 81 days.
Exams and tests take
up at least 35 days in
your year; hence you are
only left with 46
days. Taking off
approximately 40 days
of
holidays, you are only
left with 6 days.Say you
are sick for a minimum
of 3 days; you're left
with 3 days in the year
to study! Let's say you
only go out for 2
days...You're left with 1
day.
But that 1 day is your
birthday. That's why I
did not study
TEACHER: keeps quiet!!!
Facts About The Most Complicated Specie Of Homosapians On Earth;
Facts About The Most Complicated Specie Of Homosapians On Earth;
LADIES
1. Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.
2. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go.
3. When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her.
... 4. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her.
5. Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
6. Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
7. Tease her and let her tease you back.
8. Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
9. Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
10. Give her the world.
11. Let her wear your clothes.
12. Let her know she's important.
13. Kiss her in the pouring rain.
14. When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
15. If your watching a movie, let her lay on your chest and put your arm around her. Don't always try to make out during a movie, its OK to just chill, unless she suggests otherwise.
16. leave her cute text/notes,especially when they are upset, this shows them that you really care about them and how they feel.
17. Tell them they look beautiful. They sometimes really feel down on themselves and just need someone to say to them that they look beautiful. They really like it if you do.
18. let them mess with your hair, its fun for them.
19. Girls like to hold hands with guys when they are walking together.
20. Girls like it when guys put their arm around them. It makes them feel loved and wanted. But don't do it when you are walking, because then its awkward. If you are standing somewhere or sitting down, put your arm around them.
21. If you are in a group of other girls with your girlfriend, make it seem like she is the only one you are interested in talking to.
22. Pay attention to them. Girls will tell a guy they trust anything. Even if you don't care about what she's saying, at least pretend to be paying attention.
23. If a girl is clearly upset, don't ignore it and hope it goes away, talk to her and ask her about it . If she says " Nothing, i'm fine," but its obvious she's not, don't just say okay.. keep asking because that's what they want. They will tell you if they love you.
24. Girls will tell guys they love anything, so don't betray that trust. If they tell you something and they say don't tell anyone, don't. Or else you will lose that trust . And even if they don't say " Don't tell anyone," still, just don't.
25. Girls don't take fighting very well. They either get really sad.. or they get pissed and get bitchy. So, don't start fights.
All About Girls☺
LADIES
1. Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.
2. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go.
3. When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her.
... 4. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her.
5. Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
6. Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
7. Tease her and let her tease you back.
8. Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
9. Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.
10. Give her the world.
11. Let her wear your clothes.
12. Let her know she's important.
13. Kiss her in the pouring rain.
14. When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is:
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
15. If your watching a movie, let her lay on your chest and put your arm around her. Don't always try to make out during a movie, its OK to just chill, unless she suggests otherwise.
16. leave her cute text/notes,especially when they are upset, this shows them that you really care about them and how they feel.
17. Tell them they look beautiful. They sometimes really feel down on themselves and just need someone to say to them that they look beautiful. They really like it if you do.
18. let them mess with your hair, its fun for them.
19. Girls like to hold hands with guys when they are walking together.
20. Girls like it when guys put their arm around them. It makes them feel loved and wanted. But don't do it when you are walking, because then its awkward. If you are standing somewhere or sitting down, put your arm around them.
21. If you are in a group of other girls with your girlfriend, make it seem like she is the only one you are interested in talking to.
22. Pay attention to them. Girls will tell a guy they trust anything. Even if you don't care about what she's saying, at least pretend to be paying attention.
23. If a girl is clearly upset, don't ignore it and hope it goes away, talk to her and ask her about it . If she says " Nothing, i'm fine," but its obvious she's not, don't just say okay.. keep asking because that's what they want. They will tell you if they love you.
24. Girls will tell guys they love anything, so don't betray that trust. If they tell you something and they say don't tell anyone, don't. Or else you will lose that trust . And even if they don't say " Don't tell anyone," still, just don't.
25. Girls don't take fighting very well. They either get really sad.. or they get pissed and get bitchy. So, don't start fights.
All About Girls☺
Will you trust him to follow him
Dat awkward moment of silence wen Abraham and Isaac are walking back home after Abraham tried to sacrifice Isaac:
Abraham: Son I love u so much.....
Isaac: Papa abeg! Abeg! Make I hear word, na so u for just kill me if to say dat ram no show face abi?
Be honest, if u were Isaac and ur father is Abraham..... Will u ever agree to go anywhere wit him again?
Abraham: Son I love u so much.....
Isaac: Papa abeg! Abeg! Make I hear word, na so u for just kill me if to say dat ram no show face abi?
Be honest, if u were Isaac and ur father is Abraham..... Will u ever agree to go anywhere wit him again?
What is the most dangerous alphabet in english language
What is the most Dangerous… Alphabet in English language ?????
Answer "W"... It is tension generator... because all the worries get initiated with "W"... Who?? Why? What?When? Which??Whom?? Where?? War... Wine...Whiskey... Women... Wealth And finally ....... Believe it or not .......... WIFE...
Answer "W"... It is tension generator... because all the worries get initiated with "W"... Who?? Why? What?When? Which??Whom?? Where?? War... Wine...Whiskey... Women... Wealth And finally ....... Believe it or not .......... WIFE...
Five ways to keep a man happy
Five ways to keep a man happy forever...
1. Look like Kim Kardashian...
2. Act like the Duchess Kate...
3. Talk... like Marilyn Monroe...
4. Treat him like Jay-zee and ...
5. Allow him to be King Solomon.
1. Look like Kim Kardashian...
2. Act like the Duchess Kate...
3. Talk... like Marilyn Monroe...
4. Treat him like Jay-zee and ...
5. Allow him to be King Solomon.
Don't always go with what the teacher say in class
AKPORS CLASS.
The new Principal was walkin around
the school compound to inspect it.
He was passing along Akpors
... class when he heared everybody in d class
chorusing Words and Particle after their
teacher. He was impressed so he decided to
check themout. The Principal entered.
Class: Good afternoon to u sir. God bless.
Principal: what class is this? C
lass: js 3F sir. Principal:
what is the topic u are treatin?
Class: Word Particle sir.
Principal: thats gud, am impress.
akpors their Teacher stood
aside smilin.
Class: thank u sir.
Principal: i will like to further test u.
Class: No problem sir.
Principal: ok, lets start.
Up...... Class: up uper upest
Principal: short Class:
shortshorter shortest
Principal: good Class: good, gooder,
goodest.
Principal: Thats wrong
Class: thats wrong, thats wronger, dats
wrongest.
Principal: what? Class: what, whater,
whatest.
Principal: shut up
Class: shut up, shut uper, shut upest.
Principal: na wao
Class: na wao, na waoer, na
waoest.
Principal: what kind
of class is dis? Class: what kind of class is this, what kind of class is diser, what kind of class is disest.
Principal: teacher are u lukin at them?
Class: teacher ar u lukin at them, teacher
ar u lukin at themer, teacher ar u lukin at themest.
Principal: am out abeg.
Class: am out abeg, am out abeger, am out abegest.
Teacher: lol
Class: lol loler lolest.
Principal fainted.
The new Principal was walkin around
the school compound to inspect it.
He was passing along Akpors
... class when he heared everybody in d class
chorusing Words and Particle after their
teacher. He was impressed so he decided to
check themout. The Principal entered.
Class: Good afternoon to u sir. God bless.
Principal: what class is this? C
lass: js 3F sir. Principal:
what is the topic u are treatin?
Class: Word Particle sir.
Principal: thats gud, am impress.
akpors their Teacher stood
aside smilin.
Class: thank u sir.
Principal: i will like to further test u.
Class: No problem sir.
Principal: ok, lets start.
Up...... Class: up uper upest
Principal: short Class:
shortshorter shortest
Principal: good Class: good, gooder,
goodest.
Principal: Thats wrong
Class: thats wrong, thats wronger, dats
wrongest.
Principal: what? Class: what, whater,
whatest.
Principal: shut up
Class: shut up, shut uper, shut upest.
Principal: na wao
Class: na wao, na waoer, na
waoest.
Principal: what kind
of class is dis? Class: what kind of class is this, what kind of class is diser, what kind of class is disest.
Principal: teacher are u lukin at them?
Class: teacher ar u lukin at them, teacher
ar u lukin at themer, teacher ar u lukin at themest.
Principal: am out abeg.
Class: am out abeg, am out abeger, am out abegest.
Teacher: lol
Class: lol loler lolest.
Principal fainted.
How much your guy loves you
A Lady asked her boyfriend: "How much do you love me ?"
Boyfriend : I love you so much, can't measure...
Girl : No just tell me...
Guy: Okay I am like a phone and you are my SIM card, there's no
me without you...
Girl : aaaaaawww that is so romantic...
(Guysays 2 himself) See mumu!!! I'm a chinko phone wit 3 sims!!!
Boyfriend : I love you so much, can't measure...
Girl : No just tell me...
Guy: Okay I am like a phone and you are my SIM card, there's no
me without you...
Girl : aaaaaawww that is so romantic...
(Guysays 2 himself) See mumu!!! I'm a chinko phone wit 3 sims!!!
Advise for trade by barter...
ALLING IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND'S HUSBAND. ,
I'm married with 2 boys and i have fallen in love with best husband we have been very close friends for 2 years.
...
In the last 6 months l have fallen in love with her husband i have been married for 13 years and they have been married for 11 years and have 2 boys.
We have told each other that we care about each other that is all. We haven't had sex, we haven't even kissed but the feelings are there.
What do I do?
I don't love my husband and he say he doesn't love his wife. We stay in our marriages for the kids.
what do we do i really do love him and he say he love me.......HELP!!
Need your advice pls.
Joke.
I'm married with 2 boys and i have fallen in love with best husband we have been very close friends for 2 years.
...
In the last 6 months l have fallen in love with her husband i have been married for 13 years and they have been married for 11 years and have 2 boys.
We have told each other that we care about each other that is all. We haven't had sex, we haven't even kissed but the feelings are there.
What do I do?
I don't love my husband and he say he doesn't love his wife. We stay in our marriages for the kids.
what do we do i really do love him and he say he love me.......HELP!!
Need your advice pls.
Joke.
Akpos the helper...
Hi bro Akpos knocked on the gate of a brothel in a red light district. The madam opened the brothel door to see a young man whose clothes were all tattered and who looked needy.
"Can I help you?" the madam asked.
"I want Jane." Akpos answered.
"Young man, Jane is our most expensive girl. Perhaps, you'd prefer someone else."
"No, I must see Jane." Akpos replied.
Just then, Jane appeared and announced to Akpos that she charges N50,000 per visit.
Akpos didn't blink. He only reached into his pocket and handed her 50 pieces of N1,000 notes.
The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon Akpos calmly left.
The next night he appeared again demanding for Jane.
Jane explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there was no discount. It would still be N50,000.
Again, Akpos took out the money, and the two went up to the room. He left an hour later.
When Akpos showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again, he handed Jane the money and up to the room they went.
At the end of the hour, Jane asked Akpos, "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?
"I'm from Warri."
"Really? Jane exclaimed. "I have a brother who lives and runs a business there."
"Yes, I know!" Akpos replied. "He's the one that told me to give you that N150,000."
"Can I help you?" the madam asked.
"I want Jane." Akpos answered.
"Young man, Jane is our most expensive girl. Perhaps, you'd prefer someone else."
"No, I must see Jane." Akpos replied.
Just then, Jane appeared and announced to Akpos that she charges N50,000 per visit.
Akpos didn't blink. He only reached into his pocket and handed her 50 pieces of N1,000 notes.
The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon Akpos calmly left.
The next night he appeared again demanding for Jane.
Jane explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there was no discount. It would still be N50,000.
Again, Akpos took out the money, and the two went up to the room. He left an hour later.
When Akpos showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again, he handed Jane the money and up to the room they went.
At the end of the hour, Jane asked Akpos, "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?
"I'm from Warri."
"Really? Jane exclaimed. "I have a brother who lives and runs a business there."
"Yes, I know!" Akpos replied. "He's the one that told me to give you that N150,000."
Falling Hand
Akpors asked a girl in a library;
“Do
you mind if I sit beside you”?
The
girl answered with a loud
voice; "I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE
NIGHT
WITH YOUUU!!!”.
All the students in the library
started staring at akpors and
he was embarrassed. After a
couple of
minutes, the girl walked
quietly to
akpors table and she told
him “I study psychology and I know
what
a man is thinking, I guess you
felt
embarrassed right?"
akpors responded with a loud voice: "200k, JUST FOR ONE
NIGHT!!!? THAT’S TOO
MUCH!!!" ...and all the people in
the library looked at the girl in
shock and akpors whispered
in her ears; “I study Law and I
know
how to make someone feel
guilty".....
“Do
you mind if I sit beside you”?
The
girl answered with a loud
voice; "I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE
NIGHT
WITH YOUUU!!!”.
All the students in the library
started staring at akpors and
he was embarrassed. After a
couple of
minutes, the girl walked
quietly to
akpors table and she told
him “I study psychology and I know
what
a man is thinking, I guess you
felt
embarrassed right?"
akpors responded with a loud voice: "200k, JUST FOR ONE
NIGHT!!!? THAT’S TOO
MUCH!!!" ...and all the people in
the library looked at the girl in
shock and akpors whispered
in her ears; “I study Law and I
know
how to make someone feel
guilty".....
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